A kind reminder: Be you.

The world is in such a hurry to disapprove, hate and denounce,

In a certain haste to rebut and call it a triumph,

Shaming you for who you are,

Mocking at your thoughts,

Smirking at your victories,

Sneering at your opinions,

Chasing you to dictate every step of yours,

Haughty and rude, waiting to dispirit your dreams,

They shadow you everywhere,

Making you run away from sadistic demons

And hide behind yourself

Screaming inside your minds,

Stopping to question if you are of worth.

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

When the storms end, and when the

Tides of the question waves cease,

Tell yourself that none can steal the happiness of being you.

Yes, stay you.

~
Among a hundred negative messages and comments that you see on social media today, let this be one positive reminder to stay you, no matter what. Love and peace.

Walking into a new dawn.

The first whiff of fresh air,

By the mountains leading to the river,

So new, unlike the dusty old tents;

The grass soothed the wounded feet,

And he ran faster than ever before,

And farther than he had always known,

Away from all the pain he endured.

He stopped at the vast forest for shade,

Oh, he hadn’t been away from the sun’s glare,

In his rusty little cage where he could barely turn,

The cage that had been his home for years,

Ever since he was snatched away from his mother,

The memories that had grown faint said.

He walked to the stream, pulling the broken chain on his leg along,

Happily gulped down water he hasn’t had in days.

He looked around and felt so strange,

To see no humans staring at him,

The ones who cheered when he jumped into rings,

The ones who screamed and beat him to bleed,

The humans he grew angry on but feared.

He ran around the trees, soaking in their warmth.

He looked up at the birds singing,

He turned to the bees humming,

He looked far into the mountains he crossed,

And he thought of his brothers back there,

As he walked into his freedom,

Into the life he had always deserved.

Away from the dark

Gasping for breath, I continued running.

Undeterred even as I stifled.

I could see the darkness chasing me,

As I cried and raced away from the beasts.

Ghosts of memories kept stabbing me,

Nightmares of betrayal haunting all along,

I ran as far as I could, from all that hurt me.

Cursed to see the demons in everyone around,

The smiles that concealed the dark hearts,

I hastened away from the hatred thrown at me.

Stealing away my little positive air,

From the gusts of negative winds,

I dashed towards my castle of peace.

Many a time, I lost my way,

And shuddered in thoughts,

Of being entangled in the black clouds again.

Every dusk, I wait for the sun to set,

So that I could get to my refuge.

Where I could hug myself like a foetus,

In the warmth of the night,

Away from the painful woes of the day.

A little amiss

What’s about this afternoon of sunshower,

That makes me rather gloomy, I ponder.

As my anarchic thoughts run berserk,

Like the blurred dances of the shadows,

Of the rustling leaves in bright moonlight,

I flutter between my hopes and reflections.

Somewhere in the race of life,

We sprint and then squander,

Pausing to discern the true course,

Trailing the real mission of our lives,

In pursuit of the Moirai’s harbor.

Meanwhile, not to let slide,

That the quest for joy and bliss,

Is the most important of them all,

For they are conducive and valued greatest.

Believe what the heart asserts,

It sure guides you right.

Stay optimistic! :) 

Conquering the lull.

In the tumult and furor of the city,

With abundance of flurry around,

The ostentatious and florid colors fade,

From flashy to shades of grey,

The voices blur, faint enough to hear yourself.

Time ebbs and every second gets distinct as it impedes.

The urge for solitude arises,

To be obscure in a world owned by me,

Without abutting forlornness,

Yet lorn and longing to belong more,

To desist from qualms and furtive tears,

For I know I have a blessed life,

With the aeon so beautiful,

And just some sparse clouds atop now,

Toning the present down a little,

Before they move away far

To flaunt the blue sky ahead,

With abounding stars and the mighty Sun,

That wouldn’t fail to give me the smiles and joy.

Oh, palisades of the blissful path.

Here I am, traversing past them.

Picking up bounteous faith and optimism,

The companions I have ever had unfailingly,

Determined to reach my ‘home’.

Chimerical, yet hopeful :)

The scar on the little flower.

Let me go, uncle.

It hurts and haunts.

I don’t like it.

I don’t know what you are doing to me.

But I know it is not right.

Let me go, uncle.

Can’t you hear me cry?

For the pain and fear grips me hard.

I don’t like it when you touch me this way.

Papa or bhaiyya don’t do this with me.

Let me go, uncle.

Your threats scare me.

As much as the thought that mama will hate me.

But I want to tell her I’m not bad.

I am not bad, am I?

Let me go, uncle.

I don’t know if I’m wrong.

Yet I feel ashamed.

And scared. Very scared.

I don’t want this anymore.

Let me go, uncle.

Don’t make me feel weaker.

Don’t make me feel wrong.

Don’t make me cry more.

Don’t make me tremble this way.

Let me go, uncle.

For I struggle within myself.

I’m afraid to tell anyone.

I’m afraid to go out.

I’m afraid to see any one.

Let me go, uncle.

I am like your daughter, ain’t I?

Little and all of 8yrs.

Someday, when I grow up big.

I hope I can forget all this.

Let me go, uncle.

For I think I cant fight more.

I struggle to tell you this.

And beg you to stop.

Let me free, uncle.

The beauty in life after!

The old yellow leaf

Let go from its world,

Floats in the air,

And swings its way down,

To place itself on the grey tomb.

The birds chirp sweetly,

In a sound that is almost music.

The leaves of the dark green trees,

Rustling in the wind,

Makes the place colder.

The loud silence is ending.

The dew drops are drying.

The sun is almost peeping out.

The insects crawl back home.

The breeze sings the hymns.

A beautiful morning.

In the most genuine place ever.

A place that paves way to heaven.

Millions of memories stay reduced in a stone.

The most genuine emotions stay contained in the place.

A place with dried tears of love.

A place where the blessed and the sinned are laid,

To reach the destined place away from the world.

A world of its own.

A life after the life.

After meeting the ultimate truth.

The truth of death.

The one truth that cannot be denied.

The truth that is most true of all.

The truth that one has to accept.

That comes calling the one time.

Most feared, yet it bores beauty to it.

It has to be embraced when its time.

With a smile that says all.

It has to be loved the way one loves life.

It has to be respected for what it is.

The most genuine truth.

The one that makes the world as much as the life.

The one that makes us ponder.

And yearn for love when you wait for it.

The moon and me

Some days, sometimes

There is nothing you can do to feel good.

You know what hurts.

And you know it cannot be changed.

Nor accepted with a smile.

It kills.

Yes, loneliness does that.

It is not about having no one to care.

It is much deeper.

The feeling of wanting something.

And never having it.

A feeling of want becoming a need.

A feeling of the minds closing in.

A feeling of trying to break the walls around,

Built by oneself and the world.

A feeling of not knowing what it is.

A feeling that can only be let out in tears.

And some anger, perhaps.

A feeling that words always fail to express.

Understood by none

Other than the heart in pain.

A feeling that is felt

With some pain, always.

A lonely walker.

Down the lonely road.

Wanting much more and..

Trying to forget the dreams that never came true!

Looking up at the sky of stars

And the one moon.

As lonely as I am.

Happy Birthday Thatha..you would have been 88 today!

Happy Birthday, Thatha.

It might have been so many months past a year,

Well, almost two years; two dark years,

Since you left us.

Yet the grief is the same,

I miss you the same.

It is so hard not to look at your picture,

Into your eyes, that looks so real even now,

So full of love, so unconditional.

I feel so guilty, at times,

When I try hard not to think of you,

Because I know I’ll just break down,

In your thoughts, like right now.

The days when I thought you’ll come back

Are sadly over.

I know you are not coming back.

I’m not going to see you again,

I know, I know that.

You have left us. Forever.

With so many of your memories.

That still inspires me,

And makes me think of you,

With so much pride.

You will be loved, remembered,

And missed, painfully, beyond words.

A flood of tears,

Your Sharmi

The little bird wants to fly!

All I want to do,
Is fly away.
Fly away far.
Alone.
On my own.
And be myself.
Just myself. 

The little grown-up girl..

Bright big eyes,

Faint smile on the lips,

The little girl, 

Growing up every single day,

Spreads her arms wide,

Into the warmth of the sun rays,

Eyes closed in the blinding brightness,

Taking in the freshness of the breeze.

A delicate little heart,

So full of love and forgiveness,

Unconditionally given to everyone around,

Giving the shoulders to all who need,

Brightening up everyone’s day,

With the brave and genuine smile that says all,

The smile that hides a thousand tears,

Carrying some pain that is never shared,

Sunk in the sea of loneliness,

Going to bed each night

With tears and stifled sobs,

Waiting to share with someone who cares,

Living in dreams and fantasies of her own,

Refuses to live within walls of confinement.

She sees the world with a different pair of eyes,

That views all things beautiful,

In a vista so far from others’,

Being shunned for the same, almost always.

Hated for what she is,

Never been understood wholly,

Yearns for just that.

A little love, a little more understanding,

A little care when she cries her heart out.

She still sees life optimistically,

With a lot of belief and trust in her heart,

Holding hope in her hands,

Tightly clenched,

Waiting for miracles to happen,

The change that might come in,

Or just elude her, unsympathetically.

The little grown up girl,

Her arms still stretched out,

To get some love.

A tear or two, drops down the cheeks.

Things are going to be okay, someday.

It will be.

If it is meant to be.

A year has passed!

It has been a year.
Time has flown.
Memories haven't.
Grief stays, unmoved.
Pain stays, not any lessened.

It was this day, a year back.
When you held my hand and talked to me.
And cried.
And then left us, forever.

We love you more as days fly.
We miss you more as months run.
If ever possible, will you come back to us?

Miss you like hell, Thatha!


Tears,
Your Sharmi

Hmm..

Oh, the days just refuse to move.
I'm pushing them.
May be I need to try harder.

Forever, will miss you...

It has been 261 days since you left us.

It’s been so long.

And I still can’t believe that you’re not with us anymore.

No matter how hard I try

Not to think of you or cry,

Here I am crying, inconsolably.

Our home has never been this sad.

Never this lonely.

Never.

No one to love, like you did.

No one to care, the way you did.

We miss you, Thatha.

Beyond words.

But I can write about nothing else.

And I know this feeling isn’t just for now.

But forever. Forever.

We've stepped into a new year.

But without you.

We miss you, Thatha!

111 days of Without-you

I just turned 22 today 

And I feel so grown up...

I miss your gift, 

I miss your blessings,

I miss your presence,

For this is my first birthday without you!!

I miss you, Thatha...!!!

Do you see me crying every night talking to you?

Do you see how I look around the house in search of you, missing you?

Did you see me see your photo and cry, this morning??

Did you see me smile when it rained, thinking it is you wishing me for my birthday?

Hundreds of people wished me today,

Made me smile and jump around,

I was all excited and happy,

But missed you so terribly!!

It's 111 days since you left the world.

111 days of grief and tears, it has been.

Always loved.

Forever.

Your absence haunts...

Our new home is so big and lovely,

Sadly it’s kind of lonely;

The shrill silence fills my ears,

The grief in the heart well concealed,

Choosing to burst through tears every night,

And hide behind smiles almost all day,

The loss still unbearable...

I miss you, Thatha...

I don’t want to ask you why you left us...

Because I know you didn’t want leave us either...

Your absence is loud and conspicuous,

My mind narrowing down to the best moments with you...

Oh, Thatha...

How much you dreamed to live in this house!

And how you didn’t get to see it well!

And how you missed to live here with us

To have made memories for me to cherish!

I miss you every day, Thatha.

Will I ever believe the fact that you’re not coming back??

You’re still not so dead.

Living in the hearts of us all.

Forever we love you.

Forever.

A rainy thought...

As the dark clouds besieges the mightier sky,

Like how the eyelid closes on a eye,

Giving darkness and just that;

The wind is blowing its best,

Turning the weather balmy;

As I walk through the lonely streets,

Looking up to see the gray clouds moving,

Enjoying the rain drops falling around,

A lot of thoughts chase my mind...

The clouds look so full of dark angst,

Yet it isn't raining much,

Just like my heart feeling heavier,

But knowing I haven’t grieved enough,

Knowing I want to cry more...

For someone who left the world...

And is never going to come back...

My steps slow down as I realize

Life is just like days,

Little sunny,

Little rainy,

Sometimes dull,

Sometimes windy,

Never the same forever...

I miss you, Thatha...

Thatha, when I think of you
And when I don't think of you,
I miss you..
When I laugh aloud,
When I smile at people,
I think of you
And I miss you..
When someone's sad,
I think of you
And I miss you..
I keep missing you all day...

Life goes on...

Oh, I know I just have everything I might need in life.

I do have people around me as always.

Yet there is some reluctant loneliness,

That I cannot shrug off so easily.

I laugh, I scream in delight; I run around, I talk so much;

Yet I know I want to be quiet and that’s really all I want.

And to shed some silent tears and let the grief out,

If it’s possible to entirely take it off my shoulder.

Oh Thatha, why did you leave us?

I still feel you around everyday...

Not just in dreams.

And I cannot say how much I miss you...

Thinking about you always...

Tears, tears, tears.