A lonely today...

The weather seems so low today...

So many clouds above, adorning the sky,

Yet so silent and still,

No winds to blow,

No sun to shine down,

No rain to wet the earth...

It’s not so cold yet it feels so...

I want to keep walking,

Soaking my skin in this pleasant weather,

Understanding myself better...

Why do I feel connected to this weather?

I think it’s similar to how I feel today...

My eyes are open,

A hundred people move about in front,

Yet I’m not seeing anything or anyone...

My ears are open,

I know people are talking to me,

Yet I’m not listening to anything...

My mind races to different places,

Yet I’m not thinking about anything...

Many drops of tears are waiting to be let out of my eyes,

I want to cry out loud, really loud...

Frustration surrounds me,

As I try harder not to cry...

Loneliness creeps inside me

And refuses to leave me...

I’m on my own,

Feeling so lonely,

Yet I want to stay away from people,

I want to laugh out loud, have fun and play around,

Yet I know I would only be pretending,

Faking myself into false laughter...

No, I cannot cheat myself that way anymore!

Sleepless nights and wandering thoughts stifle me,

As I can’t wait for life to get normal again...

Losing someone, forever, from the world,

While he gets closer to heart, than ever, 

Is so painful... so painful...

It’s so hard not to cry,

When that’s all I want to do...

It’s so painful to have no one

To share my thoughts and know how I feel...
I don't know what am I running away from...
Reality, perhaps?
That life has to go on?
I don't know...

The words seem so reluctant to be out...

And I can’t write more how I feel...