We've stepped into a new year.

But without you.

We miss you, Thatha!

111 days of Without-you

I just turned 22 today 

And I feel so grown up...

I miss your gift, 

I miss your blessings,

I miss your presence,

For this is my first birthday without you!!

I miss you, Thatha...!!!

Do you see me crying every night talking to you?

Do you see how I look around the house in search of you, missing you?

Did you see me see your photo and cry, this morning??

Did you see me smile when it rained, thinking it is you wishing me for my birthday?

Hundreds of people wished me today,

Made me smile and jump around,

I was all excited and happy,

But missed you so terribly!!

It's 111 days since you left the world.

111 days of grief and tears, it has been.

Always loved.

Forever.

Your absence haunts...

Our new home is so big and lovely,

Sadly it’s kind of lonely;

The shrill silence fills my ears,

The grief in the heart well concealed,

Choosing to burst through tears every night,

And hide behind smiles almost all day,

The loss still unbearable...

I miss you, Thatha...

I don’t want to ask you why you left us...

Because I know you didn’t want leave us either...

Your absence is loud and conspicuous,

My mind narrowing down to the best moments with you...

Oh, Thatha...

How much you dreamed to live in this house!

And how you didn’t get to see it well!

And how you missed to live here with us

To have made memories for me to cherish!

I miss you every day, Thatha.

Will I ever believe the fact that you’re not coming back??

You’re still not so dead.

Living in the hearts of us all.

Forever we love you.

Forever.

A rainy thought...

As the dark clouds besieges the mightier sky,

Like how the eyelid closes on a eye,

Giving darkness and just that;

The wind is blowing its best,

Turning the weather balmy;

As I walk through the lonely streets,

Looking up to see the gray clouds moving,

Enjoying the rain drops falling around,

A lot of thoughts chase my mind...

The clouds look so full of dark angst,

Yet it isn't raining much,

Just like my heart feeling heavier,

But knowing I haven’t grieved enough,

Knowing I want to cry more...

For someone who left the world...

And is never going to come back...

My steps slow down as I realize

Life is just like days,

Little sunny,

Little rainy,

Sometimes dull,

Sometimes windy,

Never the same forever...

I miss you, Thatha...

Thatha, when I think of you
And when I don't think of you,
I miss you..
When I laugh aloud,
When I smile at people,
I think of you
And I miss you..
When someone's sad,
I think of you
And I miss you..
I keep missing you all day...

Life goes on...

Oh, I know I just have everything I might need in life.

I do have people around me as always.

Yet there is some reluctant loneliness,

That I cannot shrug off so easily.

I laugh, I scream in delight; I run around, I talk so much;

Yet I know I want to be quiet and that’s really all I want.

And to shed some silent tears and let the grief out,

If it’s possible to entirely take it off my shoulder.

Oh Thatha, why did you leave us?

I still feel you around everyday...

Not just in dreams.

And I cannot say how much I miss you...

Thinking about you always...

Tears, tears, tears.

Sometimes...

Sometimes we are lost, between the day and night,

Sometimes we are torn, between the truths and lies,

Sometimes we are perturbed, between our heart and mind,

Sometimes we are dazed at the pace of things happening around us,

And we may feel we are floating through them slow,

When life is so,

Just have to convince yourself,

That ‘Life has to go on, no matter how it is!’